Looking for the best quotes from the beloved TV series “Only Fools and Horses”? Look no further! We’ve curated a list of the top 40 quotes that capture the wit, humor, and timeless charm of this iconic show. From Del Boy’s classic one-liners to Rodney’s hilarious comebacks, these quotes are sure to make you laugh and reminisce about the unforgettable moments from Only Fools and Horses. Discover the best of British comedy with our handpicked selection of quotes from this legendary TV series.
Which Only Fools and Horses Character Are You? Quiz
Only Fools and Horses Tv Show Quotes
Del Boy : “There’s no point in running away. Running away only wears out your shoes.”
Boycie : “I have heard rumours Mickey Mouse wears a Rodney Trotter wristwatch.”
Del: They asked me what I thought about Hamlet. I said I preferred Castellas.
Del Boy : “One of my most favouritist meals is Duck à l’Orange, but I don’t know how to say that in French.”
Del Boy : “I see it as a combination of my business acumen and salesmanship, and your ability to drive a three-wheeled van. Badly.”
Del Boy: “Oh, leave it out Rodney, you couldn’t flog a black cat to a witch!”
Del: There’s gota be a way! He who dares wins! There’s a milyon quids worth of gold out there, our gold. We can’t just say ‘bonjour’ to it!
Del: “Asking a trotter if he knows anything about chandeliers is like asking mr Kipling if he knows anything about cakes”
Del Boy : “I used to be a midfield dynamo, played like Paul Gascoigne. Boycie used to play like Bamber Gascoigne.”
Rodney: My mum’s left me, my wife doesn’t love me and some bastard’s nicked my bike!
Del Boy : “I got a Persian rug with more food on it than a menu.”
Boycie : “I have never been so insulted in my life, do you know how much I’ve spent on that garden? You think I’m going to dig a hole in it?”
Rodney: I’ve got this ‘orrible feeling that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, knowing my luck, I’ll come back as me!
Del: “Did you hear that Albert? That little sort Rodney’s been chatting up down the pub only owns a pub, The duke of malburry!”
Rodney : “If you had been in charge of The last supper it would have been a take away.”
Raquel : “Derek, will you get it into your thick skull, I’m not trying to meet intelligent and sensitive people, I’m happy with you.”
Del Boy: “He who dares wins. He who hesitates… doesn’t.”
Mike: How’s life treating you, Denz? Denzil: The same as Paxo treats a turkey!
Del: Hello Ranji my son! Ere i saw your misses on tuesday, shes got a terrible spot on her forehead aint she!
Del: So on your way home you meet a sick woman. Instead of phoning for a ambulance you touch her. What do you think youv got healing hands!?
Del Boy : “Of course he couldn’t swim, he only had one bloody arm. He would have gone around in circles, wouldn’t he?”
Rodney :Yes, I’ve checked it on my birth certificate and everything, its definitely Rodney Trigger: So what’s Dave, a Nickname like?
Rodney: ’Ere Boyce. This car’s a GTI. If you rearrange the letters, you’ve got yourself a personalised number plate.
Grandad: I don’t know why they want these drug addiction centres. Ain’t we got enough drug addicts without recruiting ’em?!
Del: “Hello Ranji my son! Ere i saw your misses on tuesday, shes got a terrible spot on her forehead aint she!”
Boycie: Trigger doesn’t have many friends or opportunity for social outlet. Every weekend he goes to the park and throws bread to the ducks.
Del Boy : “Not only have you managed to sink every battleship and aircraft carrier that you’ve ever sailed on, but now you’ve gone and knackered a gravy boat.”
Rodney: i got a bit of a cash flow problem Del: So do half the people on this estate but they don’t came round here eating my egg and chips!
Marlene: Did you have a nice Christmas? Del: Terrific, yeah. Marlene: I had a dog. Rodney: Yeah? We had a turkey, same as every other year!
Jonathan Ross: What state was president Kennedy in when he was killed? Del: Well he was in a terrible state weren’t he he died!
Denzil : “We might go out, get to know each other a bit, you know. Might like each other then – who knows? – in time maybe she might do some ironing for me.”
Granddad : “You couldn’t blame him the way them Germans was carrying on. Someone was gonna get hurt.”
Del: Look at Grandad. His brain went years ago, now his legs have gone. There’s only the middle bit of him left.
Grandad: Your dad always said that one day Del Boy would reach the top. Then again, he always said Millwall would win the cup!
Doctor: Do you have trouble passing water Mr Trotter? Del: Well I had a dizzy spell going over tower bridge once!
Rodney : “Trigger with a computer? Do me a favour, he’s still struggling with light switches.”
Rodney: You don’t fancy having a little fly then? Del: No i do not! I want to keep my feet firmly on the old terracotta!!
Indian Waiter: What rice would you like? Delboy: Av you got any uncle bens?!
Boycie: Have you ever spent an evening in Trigger’s flat? It’s like having a seance with Mr Bean