Discover the top 25 Andy Griffith quotes from the beloved TV show. Immerse yourself in the wit, wisdom, and humor of this iconic American series. From heartfelt moments to hilarious one-liners, these quotes capture the essence of Andy Griffith’s timeless charm. Join us as we celebrate the enduring legacy of this classic television program and the unforgettable words that continue to resonate with fans of all ages.
Andy Griffith Quotes
Andy Taylor : “Well, that’s a fine day’s work. You’ve outsmarted justice and you’ve made a mockery of this court, and you’ve turned three people against me that I would have sworn would never leave my side. Oh, I can understand a shiny, autographed baseball turning a little boy’s head, but I am a little disappointed in Floyd, and I’m real disappointed in my deputy. He’s a law officer and ought to know better. Congratulations, ma’am. Been quite a day’s work.”
Barney Fife: “Boy, giraffes are selfish.”
Andy Taylor : “I don’t know why I am always gettin’ my britches caught on my own pitchfork.”
Barney Fife: “They don’t do things that way anymore. This is the Age of Science Know-How, electronal marvels.”
Floyd Lawson : “I always enjoy cutting Barney’s hair. His ears kind of wing out and it gives you room to work.”
Barney Fife: “Inkem binkem notamus rex, protect us all from the man with the hex.”
Newton Munroe: “Sheriff, you gave me the confidence I needed! I found out I’m not inept! I’m ept!”
Andy Taylor: “What’s small potatoes to some folks can be mighty important to others”
Andy Taylor: “When a man carries a gun all the time, the respect he thinks he’s getting might really be fear. So I don’t carry a gun because I don’t want the people of Mayberry to fear a gun. I’d rather they respect me.”
Andy Taylor : “I once knew a horse that didn’t even know how to fix a sore finger. Played a great guitar, but was nothin’ with first aid.”
Ernest T. Bass: “If a duck stood still you could catch him by the bill.”
Andy Taylor : “Oh, Aunt Bee, what they got in mind for me is as clear as the nose on a warthog’s face.”
Sheriff Andy Taylor: “Somewhere wandering loose around Mayberry is… A loaded goat.”
Ernest T. Bass: “I don’t chew my cabbage twice. And you ain’t heard the last of Ernest T. Bass!”
Barney Fife: “If there’s anything that upsets me, it’s having people say I’m sensitive.”
Barney Fife: “Nip it!”
Deputy Barney Fife: “On this job there’s only two kinds of cops: the quick and the dead!”
Floyd Lawson: “Wretch, wretch! Deceitful wretch!”
Barney Fife: “Gentlemen, I give you science in action. Proof-positive the camera does not lie; it sees all, tells all.”
Andy Taylor : “Well, what would ANY husband say to his widow? Thank her for the nice funeral she gave you, for the kind words on your headstone. Why, you got a lot to talk about. Look alive, now.”