Baseball, with its long seasons and quirky moments, has given rise to some hilariously funny quotes over the years. One such gem comes from the legendary Yogi Berra, who once said, “Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.” Yogi’s wit and humor were legendary, and this quote perfectly captures his unique way of looking at the game. Another amusing quote comes from the great Casey Stengel, who famously quipped, “The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.” Stengel’s playful take on the dynamics of team management brings a smile to anyone who hears it. Baseball has a way of producing funny and memorable quotes, and these lighthearted sayings remind us that even in the midst of intense competition, there’s always room for a good laugh on and off the diamond.
Baseball Quotes
1. ” I didn’t mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands. ” — Babe Ruth
2. ” If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can’t get you off. ” — Bill Veeck
3. ” Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher I ever saw. He always pitches when the other team doesn’t score any runs.” — Tim McCarver
4. “Trying to sneak a pitch past Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sunrise past a rooster. ” — Joe Adcock
5. ” The other teams could make trouble for us if they win. “— Yogi Berra
6. ” It ain’t nothin’ till I call it. ” — Bill Klem, legendary Major League Baseball umpire
7. ” I think I throw the ball as hard as anyone. The ball just doesn’t get there as fast. “— Eddie Bane
8. ” Third ain’t so bad if nothin’ is hit to you.” — Yogi Berra
9. “There’s no crying in baseball! “— Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own
10. ” I never took the game home with me. I always left it in some bar. ” — Bob Lemon
11. “Well, it took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball, and I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. “— Hank Aaron
12. “After Jackie Robinson, the most important black in baseball history is Reggie Jackson.” — Reggie Jackson
13.“We know we’re better than this, but we can’t prove it.” — Tony Gwynn
14. ” It ain’t like football. You can’t make up no trick plays.” — Yogi Berra
15. “If a horse won’t eat it, I don’t want to play on it.” — Dick Allen on artificial turf
16. “There have been only two authentic geniuses in the world, Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare.” — Tallulah Bankhead
17. “I never threw an illegal pitch. The trouble is, once in a while I toss one that ain’t never been seen by this generation.” — Satchel Paige
18. “Ninety percent of this game is half mental.” — Yogi Berra
19. ” If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.” — Dave Barry
20. “You don’t realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth.” –Mickey Mantle
21. “Alan Sutton Sothoron pitched his initials off today. ” — Anonymous, St. Louis newspaper
22. “All I remember about my wedding day in 1967 is that the Cubs lost a doubleheader.” — George F. Will
Funny Baseball Sayings
23. “The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then to pick it up.” — Bob Uecker
24. “Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time? ” — Yogi Berra
25. ” The majority of American males put themselves to sleep by striking out the batting order of the New York Yankees.” — James Thurber
26. “A hot dog at the game beats roast beef at the Ritz. ” — Humphrey Bogart
27. “He’s the strangest hitter in baseball. Figure him out one way and he’ll kill you another. ” — Sandy Koufax on Roberto Clemente
28. “As a nation we are dedicated to keeping physically fit — and parking as close to the stadium as possible. “— Bill Vaughan
29. “Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting. “ — Yogi Berra
30. ” A man once told me to walk with the Lord. I’d rather walk with the bases loaded.” — Ken Singleton
31. ” I’d be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball. ” — Pete Rose
32. “Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets. ” — Yogi Berra
33. “Lasorda’s standard reply when some new kid would ask directions to the whirlpool was to tell him to stick his foot in the toilet and flush it. ” — Steve Garvey
34. ” If you don’t succeed at first, try pitching.” — Jack Harshman
35. “The Hall of Fame is for baseball people. Heaven is for good people. ” — Jim Dwyer
36. “So I’m ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face. ” — Yogi Berra
37. “He looks like a greyhound, but he runs like a bus.” — George Brett on teammate Jamie Quirk
38. “The baseball mania has run its course. It has no future as a professional endeavor. “— Cincinnati Gazette editorial, 1879
39. “Never root for a team whose uniforms have elastic stretch waistbands.” — Susan Sarandon
Baseball Phrases Funny
40. ” There ain’t much to being a ballplayer, if you’re a ballplayer.” — Honus Wagner
41. ” Us ballplayers do things backward. First we play, then we retire and go to work. ” — Charlie Gehringer
42. ” The funny thing about these uniforms is that you hang them in the closet and they get smaller and smaller. “— Curt Flood
43. “Sure I played, did you think I was born age 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you? “— Casey Stengel, to Mickey Mantle
44. “When you start the game, they don’t say “Work ball!” They say “Play ball!” — Willie Stargell
45. ” There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither one of them works. “— Charlie Lau
46. “Who is this Baby Ruth? And what does she do? “— George Bernard Shaw
47. ” The way to make coaches think you’re in shape in the spring is to .get a tan.” — Whitey Ford
48. “Running a ball club is like raising kids who fall out of trees.” — Tom Trebelhorn
49. ” I watch a lot of baseball on radio.” — Gerald Ford
50. “Beethoven can’t really be great because his picture isn’t on a bubble gum card. “— Charles Schulz