“Modern Family” is an American television sitcom that originally aired from 2009 to 2020. Created by Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd, the show revolved around the lives of an extended, multi-generational family, the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan, who live in the Los Angeles area. The series is presented in a mockumentary style, with characters frequently speaking directly to the camera in confessionals.
“Modern Family” gifted audiences with an abundance of memorable quotes over its 11-season run, capturing the humor and heart of the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan. From Phil Dunphy’s quirky one-liners to Gloria’s charmingly flawed English, these quotes have become iconic in the world of television comedy.
Modern Family Quotes
1- Claire: Women in their thirties on the Internet, they’re like ninjas. They get in their little black outfits and try to sneak their way into your marriage.
3- Gloria: I thought one of the advantages of marrying an older guy was that I was going to be able to relax. But all of this swimming and running and rowing, it’s just like how some of my relatives got into this country!
4- Gil : I’m totally gay.
5- Phil: I am brave. Roller coasters? Love ’em. Scary movies? I’ve seen Ghostbusters like, 7 times. I regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So yeah, I’m pretty much not afraid of anything… except for clowns. Never shared that with the family so, shh– I do have an image to maintain. I am not really sure where the fear comes from, my mother says it’s because when I was a kid I found a dead clown in the woods, but who knows?
6- Haley: “You’re obviously going to get into one of those snooty schools, and sometimes you’re gonna come in second. Or fourth. Or maybe even tenth. But you’re gonna dust yourself off, maybe put on some lipstick for once, and keep going.”
7- Jay: Manny thinks his dad is like Superman. The truth? He’s a total flake. In fact, the only way he’s like Superman… is that they both landed in this country illegally.
8- Mitchell: I came out of the closet in my mid-twenties. I had to actually come out to my dad three times before he finally acknowledged it. I’m not sure if maybe he was hoping he heard it wrong like I had said, “Dad, I’m gray”
9- Phil Dunphy : What’s my coaching philosophy? Give a kid a bird and he becomes one of those weird dudes that walks around with a bird on his shoulder. But give him a pair of wings? He can fly…
10- Claire : Can you scratch my nose? I feel like you’re closer.
11- Mitchell: “Everyone’s staring at us. I haven’t been judged by this many people since I forgot my canvas bags at Whole Foods.”
12- Phil Dunphy : I’m the cool dad. That’s my thing. I’m hip. I surf the Web. I text. LOL: laugh out loud. OMG: Oh, my God. WTF: Why the face? Um you know, I know all the dances to High School Musical so…
13- Phil Dunphy : “I always felt bad for people with emotionally distant fathers; it turns out I’m one of them. It’s a miracle I didn’t end up a stripper.”
14- Phil: I always felt bad for people with emotionally distant fathers- It turns out I’m one of them. It’s a miracle I didn’t end up a stripper.
15- Claire: “More than anything, I want my girls to stop fighting and be close. I want them to share clothes and do each other’s hair and gossip about boys, like I used to do with Mitchell.”
16- Phil: Do people want their real estate advice from someone who leads or from someone who follows? I’m betting these babies [points to fake mustache] are coming back in a big way. Buy low sell high. People are gonna see this and say… that guy is high.
17- Jay: “The minute they got rid of rotary phones, everything went to hell.”
18- Phil: “Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration, and 2% attention to detail.”
19- Dylan : We’re like magnets, that sometimes take a break to date other magnets.
20- Gloria: I always wanted a daughter: to dress her up in pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everyone that he was my daughter [laughing]. But just for a few times, I didn’t want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died. [cut to Jay giving her a horrified look]
21- Haley : if it were easy, everyone would be hot.
22- Mitchell : Usually when everything’s normal, people don’t respond in perfectly rehearsed unison.
23- Phil: When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all, ‘Whaaat?’”
24- Cameron : Tarnation! Here comes your kin! Git! Git!
25- Cam : I had a choice to make. Be the better dancer or the bigger man. So I stepped off the dance floor and made the obvious call. You wanna win over a crowd? Invite a lonely mom to dance. She never saw it coming and neither did he.
26- Gloria : I want a White Christmas. You know, like white people have.
27- Gloria : What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?
28- Mitchell : I don’t wanna meet anything on Monday that I’m gonna eat on Friday.
29- Gloria : Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.
30- Cam : You know what I say, I might be coach but I like to travel first class!
31- Luke: “I’ve been thinking of moving out for some time now. There’s a line of ants going to a trick-or-treat bag in my closet, and I don’t want to still be here when they get sick of candy.”
32- Phil: “I’m cool dad, that’s my thang. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face.”
33- Haley : With great hotness comes great responsibility
34- Phil: “I love filmmaking and I love love. I guess you could say I enjoy making love on film and I love doing it by myself.”
35- Cam : We call ourselves the artful lodgers.
36- Gloria : I don’t like another woman in my house. I want to be the star.
37- Phil : If God wants a hamburger, this is what she cooks it on!
38- Cam : Prepare to feel like an old denim fest because I’m about to be-dazzling you.
39- Claire : Just because he’s behind a curtain doesn’t make him a wizard.
40- Phil : If laughter is the best medicine, consider yourself grape flavored Triaminic.
20 memorable quotes from “Modern Family”
- Phil Dunphy: “I’m not a regular dad; I’m a cool dad.”
- Claire Dunphy: “I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?”
- Jay Pritchett: “Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: “I’m going to church on Sunday, so if you see me running through your yard in my bra and panties, don’t shoot.”
- Mitchell Pritchett: “I’m as surprised as you are, buddy. I didn’t see this coming when I came out.”
- Cam Tucker: “I’m sort of like Costco. I’m big, I’m not fancy, and I dare you not to like me.”
- Haley Dunphy: “Yeah, I’m a trophy now. And you know what you do with trophies? You polish them.”
- Phil Dunphy: “I always thought ‘philtrum’ was just another word for ‘sweet, sweet love spot.'”
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: “The only thing stronger than my accent is my desire to raise my child in this country.”
- Jay Pritchett: “I don’t want to go to Disney World. I want to go to the hospital and have my hip replaced.”
- Mitchell Pritchett: “If I could afford a therapist, I’d be sitting in the other chair.”
- Cam Tucker: “Lily, don’t you see? You are everything I ever wanted. You are my dream and I love you!”
- Phil Dunphy: “I’m going to be like ‘The Terminator’ – I’m going to be back.”
- Claire Dunphy: “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. If grandma ain’t happy, run.”
- Jay Pritchett: “A real man admits his fears. That’s what I did when I married my first wife.”
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: “It’s not easy being a mother. If it were, fathers would do it.”
- Mitchell Pritchett: “Our vows are a sham! I don’t even believe in ‘forever.'”
- Cam Tucker: “If you don’t get everything you want, the dream is dead.”
- Haley Dunphy: “I’m the cool dad. That’s my thing. I’m hip. I surf the web. I text. LOL: laugh out loud. OMG: oh my god. WTF: why the face.”
- Luke Dunphy: “I’m not great at math, but I can count to two! And there’s four of us!”
“Modern Family” is a popular television sitcom that aired from 2009 to 2020. Here are some interesting facts about the show:
- Mockumentary Style: “Modern Family” is presented in a mockumentary style, with characters frequently speaking directly to the camera in confessionals. This format allows viewers to get an inside look at each character’s thoughts and perspectives.
- Multiple Emmy Awards: The show received critical acclaim and won five Primetime Emmy Awards for Outstanding Comedy Series during its run. It was also nominated for numerous other Emmy Awards.
- Diversity in Family: “Modern Family” is celebrated for its portrayal of diverse family structures. The show includes a traditional nuclear family (Jay, Gloria, and Manny), a same-sex couple raising an adopted child (Mitchell and Cam), and a blended family (Jay’s children and their spouses).
- Cast’s Chemistry: The cast of “Modern Family” had great chemistry on and off-screen, which contributed to the show’s success. They often spent time together outside of filming, fostering a real sense of family.
- Relatable Themes: The show’s relatable themes and family dynamics resonated with audiences worldwide. It tackled issues such as marriage, parenting, sibling rivalry, and cultural differences with humor and heart.
- Long-Lasting Run: “Modern Family” ran for 11 seasons and aired a total of 248 episodes, making it one of the longest-running and most successful sitcoms of the 21st century.
- Iconic Quotes: The show is known for its memorable quotes and catchphrases. Characters like Phil Dunphy and Cam Tucker have delivered some of the most iconic lines in television comedy.
- Spin-Off Attempt: A spin-off series titled “Modern Family: The Dunphys” was in development but did not move forward. It was intended to focus on the next generation of Dunphy family members.
- Guest Appearances: “Modern Family” featured several notable guest stars over the years, including Nathan Lane, Elizabeth Banks, James Marsden, and Shelley Long.