Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth is a primary character from the animated television series “Futurama,” which was created by Matt Groening and David X. Cohen.
Professor Farnsworth is the founder and owner of the Planet Express delivery service, the company where the show’s main characters work. He is an elderly (over 160 years old) and somewhat eccentric scientist and inventor, often creating outlandishly dangerous or useless devices and experiments. His inventions are central to many of the show’s plotlines.
Professor Farnsworth Quotes
1. “Remeber, we’ve got to show these people we’re not bitter husks of human beings who long ago abandonded hope of finding love in this lifetime. Leela, you’re going to have to do some acting.” –Professor Farnsworth
2. “With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!” –Professor Farnsworth
3. “Professor Farnsworth: Ah, perfect timing. I just turbo charged the ship’s matter compressor.
Fry: What’s the matter compressor?
Professor Farnsworth: Nothing’s the matter, Fry, now that I’ve turbo charged the matter compressor. ” –Professor Farnsworth
4. “Leela: I am going to remind Fry of his humanity, the only way a woman can.
Professor Farnsworth: You’re going to do his laundry?” (Amy smacks the professor) – Professor Farnsworth
5. ” Hail science!” –Professor Frnsworth
6. “Everyone’s always in favor of saving Hitler’s brain, but when you put it in the body of a great white shark. Ohhh, suddenly you’ve gone too far.” –Professor Farnsworth
7. “I hate these nerds! Just because I’m stupider than them they think they’re smarter than me!” –Professor Farnsworth
8. “Professor Farnsworth: Come on, stem cells, work your astounding scientific magic.
Fry: Fetal stem cells, aren’t those controversial?
Professor Farnsworth: In your time yes, but nowadays? Shut up! Besides they are adult stem cells harvested from perfectly healthy adults, whom I killed for their stem cells.”
9. “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.” –Professor Farnsworth
10. “Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! We were suppose to make a delivery to the planet Tweenis 12 but it’s been completely destroyed.
Leela: Why is that good news?
Professor Farnsworth: They paid in advance.”
11.”(at the horse races) Announcer: It’s a dead heat. They’re checking the electron microscope.The winner is number three in a quantum finish.
Professor Farnsworth: No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it.”
12. “ Good news, everyone. We’ll be making a delivery to Stumbos-4, a planet with such high gravity that you’ll most likley be crushed under the weight of our own hair. Enjoy! ” –Professor Farnsworth
13. “Hippie: You can’t own property.
Professor Farnsworth: I can, but that’s because I’m not a pennniless hippie.”
14. “Professor Farnsworth: I’m sorry Fry but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
Fry: Oh. What’s it called now?
Professor Farnsworth: Urrectum!”
15. “Who likes good news? Everyone?” –Professor Farnsworth
16. “Leela: This ship can do 99% light speed. Why are we going 35 MPH?
Professor Farnsworth: Because we’re in a hurry!”
17. “Your mouth just wrote a Paypal request tranfser that your butt has insufficient funds to honor.” –Professor Farnsworth
18. “They say madness runs in our family. Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters. Atomic super men with octagonal shaped bodies that sucked blood out of…” –Professor Farnsworth
19. “Good news, everyone! Someone’s home is on fire.” –Professor Farnsworth
20. “Brender: I sold my body.
Professor Farnsworth: Sold your body? Oh, Bender. I’ve been down that road. I know it glamorous and the parties are great. But you’ll end up spending every dollar you make on jewlery and skin tight pants.”
21. “Fry: I can’t swallow that!
Professor Farnsworth: well, then, good news! It’s a suppository.”
22. “Bad news, nobody! The supercollider super-exploded. I need you to take it back and exchange it for a wobbly CD rack and some of those rancid meatballs.” –Professor Farnsworth
23. “Be careful, Fry! And if you kill anyone, make sure to eat thier heart. To gain thier courage. Their rich, tasty courage.” –Professor Farnsworth
24. ” Good news everyone! There’s a report on the TV with some very bad news!” –Professor Farnsworth
25. “Leela: Whats the mission?
Professor Farnsworth: Collecting honey. Ordinary honey.
Leela: That doesn’t sound so dangerous.
Professor Farnsworth: This is no ordinary honey!”
26. “(to Leela with horrible makeup) You look beautiful. Incidentally, my favorite artist is Picasso.” –Professor Farnsworth
27. “If anyone needs me I’ll be in the Angry Dome.” –Professor Farnsworth
28. “I still don’t understand why you wouldn’t let me graft a laser canon on your chest to crush those who disobey you.” –Professor Farnsworth
29. “These old doomsday devices are dangerously unstable. I’ll rest easier not knowing where they are.” –Professor Farnsworth
30. ” It’s the Apocalypse all right. I always thought I’d have a hand in it.” –Professor Farnsworth